Starting and Momentum

When your car is blocking your van and won’t start, you have to push it out of the way. Such was our task the last week when we were wanting to head out to our designated cycling route for the day. After putting it in neutral, my husband and I had to rock it a couple times to get the car going. It felt a little daunting at first with the car barely budging but a little bit of rocking it, it began to move, then it moved a little more quickly as it gained momentum. At the same time, we were able to ease up a little on the effort. And as it came to it’s designated spot, the park gear was re-engaged to keep it in place.

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We got to go out riding 2 days in a row last weekend. We did a 53 km ride Saturday with a longish break for supper and a 60 km there and back ride with a couple 5 minute stops for photo taking. Sadly going through town on Sunday we hit a lot of red lights. It is just as annoying to have a red light riding a bike as it is when in a car. On the bike it means unclipping one shoe from the peddle and dismounting the bike while waiting for the light to change, then remounting the bike and pushing to get going again. It is more difficult to start than it is to keep going once you have momentum. Of course sometimes there are forced stops.

A couple weeks ago after I wrote about feeling like a pug running down the road, I was able to go out a few other days for runs and it started feeling less daunting. It took some momentum in going out a few times to make it feel more normal and in fact really good. Then I ended up doing some long walks instead and last week the number of walks also fell by the wayside with plans to ride bike and other things taking my minutes. So again, running is in park gear. I have not stopped doing things, just doing other things. Last week I played basketball again as well as playing wallyball and some walks and yesterday we rode our bikes 82 km with a nice Mother’s Day lunch at the 60 km mark. Tomorrow I ride again.

Last week I started this blog post and had some momentum, then suddenly a stop. Isn’t that the way with so many things in life? We finally get the gumption to get going and then ‘life happens’ and the project we just got going on stops and as we are moving in other ways that thing sits in park. There are times we think, “Yikes I haven’t worked on that for a while now; I need to get started” but starting is sometimes the hardest part. Sometimes the effort to roll back and forth to get the momentum going is is a little overwhelming and we shove it to the back of our mind for ‘another day’. We all know it happens but how do we mitigate it?

A couple things that have helped me are focus and grace. I am the first to admit I suffer from SOS (shiny object syndrome). “Oh look, a butterfly”, might be written on my tombstone. I have a million ideas going in my head and I love to start new projects. I love seeing things coming together but then…crickets. It gets to a certain spot of ‘almost there’ and I lose interest. I have had to work long and hard on focus. In fact just as I sat down with my tea to write today, I got a text from my husband to send him a file. Which of course wasn’t that simple for me, and it didn’t take 2 seconds. At any rate, I continue to finish this despite it being time to make supper and still having a load of clothes to hang on the line (4th today). And along with the SOS is this going off on a tangent thing. So….focus, I struggle with it. I have certain things on my vision board and writing is one of them so I have been pretty consistent posting on my blog. I have not been perfect. That holds true with my diet, exercise and the half million other things I have going on, and that my friends, is where grace comes in. I need to have grace with myself and realize I might get momentum for a time and then there will be a stop. If I have grace, I will not fear starting (and stopping) even though it is more difficult to start. If I have grace, it will be less difficult to start and get momentum.

And finally, I liken it to something someone said on a podcast I listened to a number of months back. I would tell you who said it but I can’t remember or even who hosted it, but it quite possibly was Gary V or someone in that circle. He said he looks at his businesses and the things that he takes care of as balls on his desk, some bigger, some smaller and every day he needs to move most of them just a little to ‘keep the ball rolling’. Some days we move one ball more. Yesterday when we did the long bike ride, other things like working in the yard ball didn’t move, but it did today and the bike ball didn’t. That’s how I like to look at the things I want to do and have to do (because those toilets don’t clean themselves you know); I get to have focus for a time, I get to have grace and ‘keeping the balls rolling’ is momentum.

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Hustle and the Long Game

Cycling the mountain highways is a different game than cycling the prairies. We started our cross Canada trip in White Rock, BC a number of years back on the first leg of our trip, ending in Calgary. The mountains came in on day 3 of the trip with the full day of going up. Whenever I am struggling with how difficult something is, especially when out on my bike, my go to thought is, “I cycled the Coquihalla.” For those familiar with that highway, you likely squirmed a little. For those not familiar, it is a pass through (over) the mountains. It is a challenging couple hundred kilometres between Hope and Kamloops. I relate this story because I believe there are a lot of correlations between the cycling trip and our mindset on hustle and the long game in any facet of life.

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Hustle, grind, long game, long road, pushing forward, struggle, What do you think of when you hear the commonly used words describing anything from business, to sport events, to parenting, fitness, health, diet…well pretty much anything? Each word has it’s meaning but really the meanings are as individual as those who define them in their own mind. What vision do you have when you think of hustle, what about long game? Are they mutually exclusive or are they the same thing in a different package. This topic was spurred by a post and comments I read last week. Yeah, speaking of last week, I wasn’t well and thus there is a blog post missing from that week. Anyway, it’s about the long game and I am here hustling to get this post done between the other things I want/need to get done today.

So back to cycling. When your plan is to cycle across Canada in stages because of available/not available vacation time, it is a long game. I won’t get into the things that make it longer (life happens), but will focus on the cycling during a trip. We usually plan for 100 km days, planning to stop in a town for lodging and food at the end of the day so sometimes our distance is longer or shorter. On our last few trips we averaged just over 100 km/day. Let me tell you about the long game when you wake up day 4. I won’t go into details, but there is a morning or two between days two and four that feels really difficult (like maybe I had a stroke in the night, where am I? I think I am going to cry because…well I don’t know). Thinking of the day ahead feels insurmountable. There is a weakness, there is feeling tired and feeling like ‘really, I signed up for this?’ Yeah, it’s tough but you are committed to the long game.

At that point, hustle only presents itself as the push to get up and ready; coffee and breakfast do the rest. Once on the road, everything settles down and as the day goes on, the feeling goes. There is that morning or two that are really hard; the other mornings are, although not as bad, are tough too; but…coffee…and just doing it for the end game.

The hustle on our trips is mostly me. My husband lets me pace as I am weaker. I on the other hand hustle a lot of the time, just to not be a burden in slowing the pace, not having him feel like he could be going way faster if he didn’t have to wait for me and the big one, so he doesn’t think I am a wimp. Of course he still has to wait for me, and go slower but doesn’t always think I am a wimp partly because I try to mitigate it by pushing more. That makes me a better athlete and him…he needs to find someone else to push him. So, hustle comes when I push a little harder to go faster, when I push a little harder to get up the hill, when I say okay to 10 more kilometres, when I want to get off my seat but wait another 5 km before I have us stop; when I do what I need to do to get it done.

The thing I love about doing our trips is there is a myriad of opportunity for hustle (adventure and challenge) and there is more than one long game. There is the daily trip of 100ish kms, there is the whole 13 days of cycling on that leg, and there is the crossing the whole country goal. Each day can be different depending on the terrain, the weather (wind, rain, heat) and how we feel (didn’t eat right, overtrained, dehydrated from previous days). Still at the end of each day there is a feeling of accomplishment as that day’s goal was met. At the end of each trip especially when we drive back home on the roads we traveled, there is a crazy sense of how far we traveled by bike and how steep or long the hill/mountain. We haven’t finished the whole trip but I am sure there will be some of the same things to realize.

The same holds true with so many endeavours in life. Sometimes we look at the long game and don’t even consider it. Sometimes we plan, but don’t continue because things get in the way. Sometimes we are delayed and the constant questioning (doubts) of others brings us down. We might hustle then, or maybe give up. We may spend a lot of time and effort preparing/learning, but let fear halt us from going further on the journey. We may start strong and give up on ‘day 4’ because it is just ‘so hard’. Or maybe we commit, do the daily hustle, get to each daily end game and then get to the shorter end game feeling like that is enough, not reaching for the big dream (the whole country and beyond). Life changes and we move with the changes…this is not that…it’s about pushing through when we know we should, when we have a dream, a vision.

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Each trip we face obstacles and struggles. It would be easy to give up and just tell everyone that, so they quit asking. It would be easier to just sit on the couch. But one doesn’t get anywhere unless one moves. Moving in the right direction is always the answer to getting to the end game. Sometimes it looks like hustle…but not always. For me, hustle is sometimes as simple as reminding myself I cycled the Coquihalla, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy; it’s still a long road with some hustle, but I can do it!

Determined

I have had a reputation of being a bit of a control freak. Okay, I added ‘bit’; I am sure others leave it out of the sentence when they say it. I prefer to think of myself as being determined; it has a nicer ring to it. I am growing, I have and do, let go of things. I don’t let some things bother me as much, I don’t feel like I need to be in charge of everything, I don’t feel like it all has to be done my way. Other things, I still feel that way. I am growing but sometimes it feels like my growth isn’t keeping up with schedule, the procedures, not producing the outcomes at the right times. Not even my growth can follow instructions!

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Although I have been known to be a ‘bit’ of a control freak, I think I am also known as someone who gets things done. I am the manager of certain things. I am not the manager of other things. If I am managing a towel closet and want the towels folded a specific way to help in the management of the towels, then I am doing my job. If procedures are followed, then I don’t have to overhaul that closet weekly. If I don’t have to overhaul that closet weekly I have that time to devote to something else. That may mean managing another closet.

I listen to podcasts regularly and very often highly successful people are interviewed. They often have 7 businesses and 3 charities and they work out and have families. They are not controlling the minutia of each event in the businesses and charities, but as they built their companies one at a time, systems were put in place for employees to follow. They have some control but they have delegated what needs to be done within the systems.

When our kids were young, and I managed the house with kids who are young, we had a lot of rules. If I had to outline them to someone…there were a lot of rules. In fact one time I was talking to someone and she said, “Wow, you have a lot of rules”. That’s when I thought about it and realized we had a lot of rules. The rules didn’t get written down or spouted off or even made at any one time, they evolved with each ‘crisis’ that happened.  “I cleaned up the cat puke last time” and “Why do I have to take out the compost” became: the pet person of the week (weekly rotations) cleans up all pet messes and the sweeper takes out the compost. So many rules, so little conflict, so much security, so much initiative, so little management.

So, back to control. A little can go a long way with systems. I fall so short on this when managing myself. I struggle with my own systems and rules. An example, writing my weekly blog post. If I were a control freak with myself, it would get done earlier in the week, or on a specific day (I actually had that in mind when I committed to one post a week) and a specific time. If I were to make and follow a system, I would block out a specific time to work on and complete it. I would have a backup rule. Despite getting it done later than I plan most weeks, I am determined to get it done and I have been getting a post done a week. Perhaps I need to reevaluate my systems.

If I were more of a control freak I would exercise more. It seems to some I do a lot but there are times I struggle to get my 10,000 steps in for the day. Not always because I don’t have ‘time’, but often because I just don’t want to go for a walk or run. I am determined to get steps in, and to exercise so I sign up for bootcamp, dance class, commit to wallyball and basketball; it is my way to override my lack of drive with my determination.

When spring eventually comes and I will have a chance to ride my bike, I will have to put systems in place. I will find reasons to not go for a ride, I will struggle with motivation. It is all fun and exciting for the first trip out, then the memories of sore seat and the efforts required for a long ride will be realized and the next time will be more difficult to begin as my brain tries to protect my body from doing that again. I will have to get tough with myself because one of the systems I put in place is a small cycling trip coming up soon. I need to have a little experience on the bike for the season to be successful when the time comes.

Whether it is control, determination, management, systems, rules, paths to success, there are many reasons someone may seem like a control freak, and they may just be. I will neither admit to nor deny it, but I will continue to call myself determined while constantly working to be more of a control freak with myself. It is the path to success, in many areas of life, that I am choosing.

 

Cracks In The Pavement

Hours in the hot sun, heat reflecting off the highway asphalt, baking and parched, feeling the strain from the prairie winds, seeing for miles but not seeing relief in sight. There were days out on the dusty trail exactly like that. Sometimes the wind was with us, sometimes not, but the heat was great and the road was long.

Traveling 90-140 km a day by bicycle is not for those who are not weak in spirit. Back before children, I went on a cycling trip with a friend who was a self professed non-athlete. People who knew her doubted her ability to cross the mountains. I knew her well enough to know she was stubborn…hmmm I mean had a strong mind. It doesn’t take a strong body to cross mountain ranges and hot prairies on a bicycle, it takes a strong mind. Life’s endurance competitions and challenges follow the same rules. Whether it’s sports, business, relationships or any other long term goals, a little strength, a little talent, a bit of knowledge helps, but it’s the persistence and resilience that comes from the mind that gets you to the finish line.

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Just like cracks in cement, frost heaving creates cracks in the asphalt. For the cyclist they are an annoyance when they run across the highway. The constant bump each time you hit one is annoying, and you don’t want to hit a wide one, they hurt. In the mountains, they run down the hill. Riding down the hill, you avoid them because the tire can roll into them and cause a disaster, especially at high speeds.

Riding along the shoulder of the road, one can see resilience in the weeds that grow in the cracks. Sometimes it’s greenery but other times there are tiny little flowers blooming. Even the tiniest of cracks can have a weed growing up, sometimes a single little plant. Riding along the shoulder for hours gets a person to thinking and pondering. One can think and ponder on the heat and the distance yet to go, or how painful one’s backside is getting; or one can contemplate the distance one has traveled, envision the destination du jour; dream of the shower and meal at the end of the day. Or… one can get more philosophical and consider the things of weeds and flowers growing in the cracks on the shoulder and on the side of the road, covered in dust and looking a little more haggard than the cyclist with 20 km to go.

The weeds in the cracks are very much like negative thoughts that creep in as we go about our lives. We have a little upset in our day and those negative phrases pop up, making that frost heave more apparent and continuing to grow, creating a bigger crevice. We need to guard against those weeds. When something doesn’t go as planned, look at the positives. Not every crack in the road will turn out to be a positive but we can guard against the weeds of thought that drag us down and discourage us from pushing forward. As we focus on the positives, we are able to be resilient; we are able to have endurance and ride out the storms in life.

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We can learn from the resilient plant. We can guard against the weeds of negative thoughts that crop up. We can emulate the tiny flower that grows up in the sandy spaces of the concrete or pavement. Because they are resilient, they endure, they reach for the sky. We can do so much more with so much more. Reach for the sky.

 

Just Move

A couple weeks ago I heard a story: A farmer and his wife were retiring for the day after a satisfying day of work. As the farmer was falling asleep he heard a sound just outside the window. Alerted awake, the farmer listened intently. Sure enough he heard it again; the dog outside the window on the porch moaned. “Did you hear that?”, he asked his wife. “Yes”. Then there was a small whimper. They listened a little longer and there was a tiny whine from the dog. The farmer got up, put on his robe and went to check on the dog. A few moments later the farmer returned. “Is the dog okay?” the wife inquired. “Yes” was the reply. “What was wrong?”, she queried. “He was lying on a nail” the farmer responded. “Well why didn’t he move” the wife asked? “I don’t know; I guess he was comfortable”.

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Ohhh…I have been guilty of that. I can’t even claim that it was when I was young and less experienced in life. How often do we whine, moan, and/or complain about something in life but when it comes to making a change, we don’t because we are comfortable.

Change isn’t comfortable; it can be downright uncomfortable. It is easier sometimes to stay on the nail, whine and moan, complain to whoever will listen, probably feel sorry for oneself, rather than to do something that has an unclear outcome.

It’s not even just the big things, like when feeling trapped in a job. Some of the most common areas of comfort and complaint are not complicated to change. How often do people complain about being overweight, then reach for seconds or snacks? How about those who say, “I need to exercise” but then say “I just don’t like to be sore”, or “I don’t like the feeling of being breathless” or “I would love to ride my bike but I don’t want a sore butt”? Maybe those things aren’t for you. Maybe your nail isn’t very sharp. Perhaps yor pain point isn’t to the level of wanting to change. If you are complaining, whining, moaning about your situation, perhaps it’s a sign.

You are not a tree, just move!  If taking a leap of faith isn’t the solution, then taking one small step on firm ground is. Not every step will look the same but we must be willing to take the step.

At the beginning of the year we were looking at little to no vacation time. In January we went to a vision board workshop and made vision boards. One of the items on our boards is cycling/cycling trip. To continue our trip across Canada we would need 3 weeks worth of time to make the trek to Sault St. Marie to begin and to ride for a couple weeks and return. We have not been able to continue our trip for various reasons over the last couple years and this year is no different. About a month ago, my husband informed me he has a bit of vacation time. Being obsessed with doing a little riding, I considered some options. One of the things I have been planning after finishing our cross Canada trip, is to go to Vancouver Island to cycle. So, because of the vision board, because of thinking outside the box and because of past thoughts, an idea was born. Then I talked to a few people about it. We like to have a support vehicle. Our daughter called one day and said her friend would like to go with us and if we go at a specific time she could be our support. So a date and support vehicle were set, and in a couple of months a cycling tour should happen (barring emergency/tragedy situations). I am pretty pumped and looking forward to begin training (cycling) as soon as the weather permits. Small steps…goal in sight.

What do you do when moving seems impossible? That’s when thinking outside the box comes in. That’s when you pull out all the crafty supplies and magazines and make a vision board. That’s when you start talking with others about what you want to do (accountability and collaboration) and over time, the path you are on changes. A small shift in what you do daily will make a big shift in where you end up.

 

 

Change Perspective

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change” (Wayne Dyer). This quote caught my attention this past week in a podcast I was listening to. Seems a coincidence that I decided to have ‘change’ as the theme for the month and a few days later I hear that quote. It likely isn’t the first time I have heard the quote, but it seemed ironic in it’s meaning as well. It wasn’t just change, it was about seeing things differently. In actuality it is ‘frequency illusion’ (also known as Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon). The example often given to explain frequency illusion is this: when you buy a new car and then you see that same vehicle everywhere when you didn’t see them before. It’s not that people went out the same day and bought the same car, it’s now that you have familiarity, you have a heightened awareness and notice it.

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Aside from the frequency illusion perspective, which is really great for kickstarting a change, changing the way you look at things will have more concrete outcomes in changing what you look at. But what does it mean to change how we look at things. For myself, I have been reading a lot of books over the last couple of years. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts. I have talked to a lot of people. A couple years ago, I knew nothing of real estate investing. I knew nothing of social marketing. Exposing myself to new ideas and trying different things, I have become familiar and comfortable with new ideas.

The saying ‘you are the average of the ten people you spend your time with’ is another way we change our perspective. If we spend time with negative people who moan about the sky falling we may have the perspective that the sky is falling and over time we will believe it and believe we are realists. If we remove from that group of people and spend time with people who believe (and live like) the sky is the limit, we will gain that perspective and start living like the sky is the limit.

Changing perspective by changing how we look at things is so much easier said than done. The sermon at my church this weekend was another cog in the wheel of this theme.  Like the Israelites wandering in the desert after leaving Egypt, we want to turn back to what we knew before, rather than continue on a path that might bring about uncertain change. We fear the unknown, are comfortable in the known,  and comfortable in our slavery.

As we age, I believe it gets worse. People as they get older become more comfortable in their world and their world gets a little smaller year by year as they feel less able to do some of the things they did in the past. How do we then prevent our world from shrinking and actually have expansion in our life.

Do things that scare you. Push through the fear of new things and do it anyway. Do the hard thing. Get out of your comfort zone.

Exercise. Yes, I said it. When a person exercises, gets the heart pounding and causing laboured breathing, he/she will have a change in brain chemistry but also a different perspective. Not the first one of “What the heck am I doing; I hate this”, but the mindset of “I did it, and didn’t die”. This helps a person feel like they can do things in other areas of life as well.

Hang out with people who bring you up. Be with people who will challenge your thinking. Find someone to exercise with and push you to do physical things you wouldn’t normally consider. Don’t find like minded people, find people who will challenge you to be who you want to be.

Take time for silence with your sights and sounds. All around us we are bombarded with ads, with voices of other people, with social media and with television and radio. There is a rushing around to get things done and often crowds of people. In the silence, just breathe.

Control the input. All the things bombarding us can be overwhelming. We can decide what we watch, listen to, and what we are looking at on social media. Make sure it is driving you forward not digging you an emotional grave.

Practice gratitude for your attitude. When you are grateful it is difficult to be miserable. If you are grateful you are able to get through tough times and when you are grateful you have more energy and light in all you do.

Finally figure out what you want. Who do you want to be? The tasks you do today become your results for tomorrow. What are you doing today to get the results you want tomorrow. If you don’t change your perspective, things will stay generally the same until there is a forced change (no one likes that). If you orchestrate the changes, and construct your vision for yourself and start taking steps in the right direction, you will grow and you will see things differently.

Change

The only constant in life is change. Each year a couple months after New Years I have another opportunity to reflect on my life. In reality, I don’t wait for a special occasion but you know…sometimes a birthday makes one think on the past year and reflect on the ramifications of getting older. Don’t get me wrong, getting older is better than the alternative. Despite the rolling over of the calendar however, one doesn’t need to become laden with the foreboding feeling of the years passing by as many do. Some people are known to mourn the loss of a previous decade or worry about entering a new decade…that’s so not me. Maybe it’s because I don’t always act my age.

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What is acting your age? Age is such a specific number that has such variable meanings on people’s bodies and minds. There is no denying as we grow older our body does age and the reality is we won’t be getting out alive. The changes we experience are created by variances in each individual. Much of the changes are can be modified by how we think and what we do.

Having read Spark by John J Ratey MD, and Fast After 50 by Joel Friel I have realized there is science behind the idea of our bodies not aging to the extent we may believe. I am inspired by those athletes in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s who push the limits of societal markers for age, who are dispelling myths of how one imagines those ages to look (or who have seen it first hand in themselves or others) and who are breaking down barriers in what is ‘deemed’ physically possible by society. Sadly most people look at those inspirational people and believe them to be anomalies in physicality and don’t recognize the anomaly is actually in their mindset: what they are willing to accept (or not) and what they are willing to do to that end.

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Barring illness and injury, we can apply this to so many aspects of our life while we age with only a sprinkle of realism. Let’s face it, realism will pop up it’s ugly head without our help, so don’t entertain it more than a sprinkle at a time and only for health and safety reasons. Whether you think you are too old for something, or think you aren’t, you’re right!

I have decided to do monthly theme’s for my blog posts and thus my personal growth, because when you have a word of the year, or word of the month, you will think of it, it will pop up in conversation, you will question it, you will notice it and you will work on all those things to grow. So for me this month’s theme is change and the next few blog posts will focus on change. I am getting this post out a little late in the week but want to continue to push toward consistency. It is International Women’s Day today, so a shout out to all the women who push the boundaries of expectation and age in all things they do.

For all those reading, I want you to journey with me this month in thinking about change. In this post I talked about what we can physically do in a broad sense. Are you doing all you can or are you using age as a reason not to? Are you sure you can’t do something? Yes I realize we don’t want to do some things; is not doing what you don’t want to do, serving you? Is there something (a way to get your heart pumping, get more steps, move your body) that you prefer over others? Are you willing to entertain finding something you will like (or tolerate) to start? We all struggle with the barriers in our minds; questioning our thoughts is a huge step in breaking away the barriers sometimes a pebble at a time.

As spring is approaching I hope you are encouraged by the promise of new beginnings, continued growth and increased abundance. Have a great rest of your week.

Dawn