Determined

I have had a reputation of being a bit of a control freak. Okay, I added ‘bit’; I am sure others leave it out of the sentence when they say it. I prefer to think of myself as being determined; it has a nicer ring to it. I am growing, I have and do, let go of things. I don’t let some things bother me as much, I don’t feel like I need to be in charge of everything, I don’t feel like it all has to be done my way. Other things, I still feel that way. I am growing but sometimes it feels like my growth isn’t keeping up with schedule, the procedures, not producing the outcomes at the right times. Not even my growth can follow instructions!

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Although I have been known to be a ‘bit’ of a control freak, I think I am also known as someone who gets things done. I am the manager of certain things. I am not the manager of other things. If I am managing a towel closet and want the towels folded a specific way to help in the management of the towels, then I am doing my job. If procedures are followed, then I don’t have to overhaul that closet weekly. If I don’t have to overhaul that closet weekly I have that time to devote to something else. That may mean managing another closet.

I listen to podcasts regularly and very often highly successful people are interviewed. They often have 7 businesses and 3 charities and they work out and have families. They are not controlling the minutia of each event in the businesses and charities, but as they built their companies one at a time, systems were put in place for employees to follow. They have some control but they have delegated what needs to be done within the systems.

When our kids were young, and I managed the house with kids who are young, we had a lot of rules. If I had to outline them to someone…there were a lot of rules. In fact one time I was talking to someone and she said, “Wow, you have a lot of rules”. That’s when I thought about it and realized we had a lot of rules. The rules didn’t get written down or spouted off or even made at any one time, they evolved with each ‘crisis’ that happened.  “I cleaned up the cat puke last time” and “Why do I have to take out the compost” became: the pet person of the week (weekly rotations) cleans up all pet messes and the sweeper takes out the compost. So many rules, so little conflict, so much security, so much initiative, so little management.

So, back to control. A little can go a long way with systems. I fall so short on this when managing myself. I struggle with my own systems and rules. An example, writing my weekly blog post. If I were a control freak with myself, it would get done earlier in the week, or on a specific day (I actually had that in mind when I committed to one post a week) and a specific time. If I were to make and follow a system, I would block out a specific time to work on and complete it. I would have a backup rule. Despite getting it done later than I plan most weeks, I am determined to get it done and I have been getting a post done a week. Perhaps I need to reevaluate my systems.

If I were more of a control freak I would exercise more. It seems to some I do a lot but there are times I struggle to get my 10,000 steps in for the day. Not always because I don’t have ‘time’, but often because I just don’t want to go for a walk or run. I am determined to get steps in, and to exercise so I sign up for bootcamp, dance class, commit to wallyball and basketball; it is my way to override my lack of drive with my determination.

When spring eventually comes and I will have a chance to ride my bike, I will have to put systems in place. I will find reasons to not go for a ride, I will struggle with motivation. It is all fun and exciting for the first trip out, then the memories of sore seat and the efforts required for a long ride will be realized and the next time will be more difficult to begin as my brain tries to protect my body from doing that again. I will have to get tough with myself because one of the systems I put in place is a small cycling trip coming up soon. I need to have a little experience on the bike for the season to be successful when the time comes.

Whether it is control, determination, management, systems, rules, paths to success, there are many reasons someone may seem like a control freak, and they may just be. I will neither admit to nor deny it, but I will continue to call myself determined while constantly working to be more of a control freak with myself. It is the path to success, in many areas of life, that I am choosing.

 

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